Confession time! I’ve spent most of my life afraid of the dark. Last Friday when my 3.75 year old insisted on going in the haunted house at his school, I’ll admit I was less than thrilled. Even though I know it’s the drama club in masks, I just really don’t like being surprised, being caught off-guard. I put on my brave face and we went in. We only had to turn two corners before he freaked and we had to run out the front. I was totally relieved.
This got me thinking about my fear of the dark in general. There have been times in my adult life where I was too afraid to get up and go pee in the night. I was sure I was going to encounter a ghost walking down the hall to go get the baby. Maybe an axe murderer was hiding in the closet. Mostly I suffered from the feeling that my impending doom was surely lurking there in the dark.
I noticed the other night that this feeling has gone away since I stopped drinking. I sleepily stumble down the hall nearly every night to get the baby without even thinking about the serial killer behind the door. I wonder if because I was a periodic, I was perpetually suffering from PAWS. I have heard some alcoholics who have claimed to have experienced that inexplicable feeling of impending doom right after stopping drinking.
It’s great to not be so fearful, but it’s even better to have the reminder of just how sick I was and how much better I am now. Still not interested in haunted houses, however.
Hope you have a Happy Sober Halloween!